i’m fucking tired
i am so done with working and going to school. i can’t do anything on the weekend with my friends because i always have to fucking work and they always have to work. i feel like i’m failing at everything i do and i’m so fucking tired. i can’t sleep but it’s all i want to do. i’m sitting up now and i have to be awake in 4 hours and i’m not even close to sleep. all i need is her to hold me right now and let me know that everything is alright, even tomorrow i won’t get that because i have to fucking work. every second i’m missing her and i just want to hold her as much as i can before she leaves. i am so unhappy but happy at the same time and i don’t understand what’s going on. i’m unhappy most of the time but when i’m with her or my friends i’m happy. but i’m fucking PISSED when i’m alone or at work. i’m probably about THIS close to quitting, but i can’t because my dad will take my fucking car away and if i don’t have my car i won’t have anything. i need to keep working to help pay for the europe trip…it’s only 7 more months i have to work there, but i need to save all of my money now. i just want to spend all my time with her and making her happy and using the rest of my time with her and talking to her. but i want to sleep, i want to just lay down and sleep until i wake up. no interruptions, no distractions. but i can’t sleep that well unless i’m with her, i think that’s why i’m still up now. i need her more than i even want to admit to myself now.
